Guest Post::: Kimberly {Just Enough Foolishness}

Advice on balancing your time:::

The life of a full-time worker/full-time student/full-time lover is a, well, FULL one. All those “full-time” things can leave you downright searching for any time at all. Balance is a tough thing to maintain, and I’m the first to admit that it is often easiest to take for granted loved ones, while prioritizing less important plate toppers. My husband and our darling pets, my family, any semblance of friendships- they can all take a back seat to the paper I have due tomorrow. I finished my first year of grad school feeling both a deep desire to slow down and utterly thankful for how busy life can be.

I’m often told the saying “if you want something done, ask a busy person.” I greatly prefer this to the “if you want something done, do it yourself” mentality. I’m all about collaboration, and I wouldn’t make it through any project on my plate without it. One way I have begun to find balance in my life is by truly depending on those closest to me. For a long time I wanted to be Wonder Woman, able to “leap tall buildings in a single bound” and all that (I think that’s another super hero...none the less). It took a serious burn out about 4 years ago, and I realized it wasn’t worth it. There is so much to appreciate about those around me, and I have a responsibility to my community to not pretend I have super hero status. I am so very human, and embracing that reality is step one of balancing a full plate. I give myself permission, in all my human-ness, to feel overwhelmed and tired. I don’t reprimand myself for feeling that way.

Step two, I think, is continuous reminding oneself of priorities. Jake- my husband- can be oh, so, neglected if I am not careful. He is supportive and respectful of all I do, but that doesn’t mean it is ok to spend every night up working past when he has gone to sleep. I’ll admit this means a lot of skimming reading rather than soaking up every word of the assignment, and it may even mean running around at the office to get everything done. Ultimately though, it is so stinking worth it. Knowing that I’m investing in a life-long relationship is far more fulfilling than reading every word anyway. It means that when the assignments are done and we’re on vacation, we don’t have to catch up on 6 months of time spend, practically, apart.

My third bit of advice? Acknowledge that other people are busy too. If I let myself believe that I’m the busiest person in the room, I can start to resent all I have to do. I can resent people asking me to do things at work, and I can resent my friends and family for not being as stretched thin as I am. I can fall into a cycle of pride and frustration and that is an ugly place to be. The fastest way out of this is to see that the people around me are busy too. Even if it’s not a boat-load of “full-time” things, everyone has a daily juggling act. I remind myself of this John Watson quote: “This man beside us also has a hard fight with an unfavouring world, with strong temptations, with doubts and fears, with wounds of the past which have skinned over, but which smart when they are touched. It is a fact, however surprising. And when this occurs to us we are moved to deal kindly with him, to bid him be of good cheer, to let him understand that we are also fighting a battle.”

That’s my novel on living a balancing act! Feel free to email me with any questions...and hopefully I’ll prioritize responding (kidding...mostly). kimberlydawnlacroix {at} gmail {dot} com.

Kimberly